The Perfect Penis – Is Size Important?
“What’s your idea of the perfect penis?”
It’s a great question, right? A question I was recently asked in real life, but I answered it much more diplomatically than I’m about to answer here. My IRL answer was something along the lines of: “Oh, you know, size isn’t important. I just like a regular penis, mostly.”
But now I’m about to give you my HONEST answer. I hope you’re sitting comfortably …
In my opinion, Big Love had the most perfect penis. He was my first ever circumcised penis, and I didn’t have a clue what to do with it. We hadn’t gotten acquainted with each other intimately before we had sex — no blowjobs, handjobs, etc. So, in the throes of passion, I was there with this penis I didn’t really know how to … well, work. He could’ve told me he had that situation going on down there. (Is that the kind of thing you talk about before you fuck?!)
Britain, as far as I’m aware, isn’t hot on the old circumcision business. This means I’m used to using foreskin as leverage when playing with a cock. Spit and lubrication and all that too, but foreskin plays a bit part. On Big Love’s other-side-of-the-world penis, however, there was none of that. I quickly learned that lubrication is vital, and lots of it. It took me a while to adapt my technique to suit him and my brand new penis toy, but once I did, I was obsessed with it.
He had the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen in my life. Not too long, not too short, just perfect. And with just the right amount of girth to make me full. I like the sensation of being fucked by a girthy cock, and although I don’t mind slightly bigger than average length, there is such a thing as too big. (For me.) It was pretty too. Neat. Beautiful. Something to marvel at. He’d sit naked on the couch and the tip of it would just hit his belly button, something I’d always as to take a photo of. He let me once. I still have the photo, buried somewhere deep in a folder I never go into.
I genuinely enjoyed having his cock in my mouth. He knew this; he got more blowjobs out of me than any other girl he’s ever dated, ever. He told me. Many times. He spun me the same line that many men tell me at the beginning of our relationships: “No girl has ever made me come from a blowjob,” and just like so many other women before me (and probably after me), I took it as a challenge. One that I easily overcame. The first blowjob, in my huge attic-conversion bedroom, took forever. Forty-five minutes to an hour, something like that. But I got there. I refused to give up. Nope. I wasn’t letting his dick defeat me. I wanted his come in my mouth … and I got it.
Eventually, I managed to get it down to just a couple of minutes with the right circumstances and buildup, and it turned into one of our favourite things to do. I loved his cock in my mouth, and he loved to indulge me.
One of those instances was when we were on the other side of the world – his side – driving through the aftermath of a tornado. It was my first ever tornado and I got so excited about it.
“I want to take some photos. Let’s pretend we’re badass storm chasers!” I begged, and he indulged me. We never quite made it close enough to photograph or video the tornado itself, but I did some shots of the aftermath, trees scattered all over the roads and debris everywhere.
And the excitement didn’t stop there. The rush of adrenaline had me feeling decidedly hot, so I reached over to his side of the car, unpopped the jeans on his jeans, rearranged the seatbelt to make my life easier, and then took the entire length of him down into my mouth. He carried on driving, the road perfectly straight for miles ahead of us, his hands firmly on the wheel and eyes locked on the road in front of him. He was trying so hard to concentrate, I could feel every muscle tensed up. I could see it, too. The veins in his arms were almost popping out with the clenching of his fists around the black leather. It took about four minutes in total, from start to finish, to make him explode into the back of my throat. My head bobbed up and down with a constant and steady rhythm, and I used one of my hands to pump his shaft, the other to grab at his balls. It was a winning formula. One that always got me what I wanted. He told me he came so hard he thought he was going to pass out, that time.
Since Big Love, I’ve slept with nine men. Some of them brand new, a few of them recycled exes, all of which I’ve compared to Big Love and his perfect penis. None of them have lived up to his standards. The Lapdog comes close, offering a touch more length and a whole load more girth. I’d say that My Mr. Grey‘s cock was pretty close to actual perfection, too. And we all know how much I enjoy it when he fucks me. Or fingers me. Or whatever … His beautiful cock has piercings in it these days, though. I personally prefer mine without.
The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of‘s cock was massive. Too long for me, and too thin. It actually hurt when he fucked me in more positions than I’m willing to admit to. One Ball‘s cock was amazing to get my hands and mouth around, but he lost his appeal very quickly. Has Big Love ruined all other cocks for me? If he has, I’m going to be angry with him for that. I’ve been lucky in life to have come across some decent dicks, but now I’m on the hunt for something rather specific. Circumcised, preferable, with a gorgeous and smooth, pink tip. Around five or six inches in length, just the right amount of girth so that I struggle to clasp my fingers all the way around it. How hard can it be to find that again … ?
Is penis size really that important anyway? I’ve had really tiny dicks on men that have had no problems making me climax in various ways. I’ve also had massive dicks on men who couldn’t work out where my clitoris was with a headtorch and a map. It’s not overly important for me, but I do definitely have a preference. I like to feel like I’m being fucked by something substantial. I enjoy it when my mouth is so full of dick that I can’t breathe or swallow. I could compromise those things for the right man, though, I think. Or maybe the right man will have exactly those things? Maybe I’ve already found my “soulcock” in Big Love and now I won’t get another one like it? I do hope that’s not the case.
How about you? Have you found your perfect penis? What does it look like? I want to know all about it!
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
If you’re in the market for something a lil’ spicier, why not check out one of my smutty favourites:
- The Ex-Slut’s Guide to Ghosting & Getting Ghosted
- Should I Give a Second Chance to Someone Who Ghosted Me?
- The Smart & Safe Guide to Sending Nudes (22 Tips)
Featured image by Charles ?? on Unsplash
You are hilarious, lol. I just love reading your blog posts. So straight up and forthright.
Anyway, I have the opposite experience, living in the US. I have only ever seen an uncircumsised penis once in my sexual adventures and I didn’t like it very much. I felt the foreskin made things more awkward and it didn’t seem as clean. That guy also was too rough, once “surprised” me with painful anal sex and also gave me an STD. He was quite the jerk so maybe it was more than his penis that I didn’t like.
I like to think that I “don’t care about size” but when I read that your “ideal” is 5-6 inches, I would have to say that is smaller than what I am used to and tend to go for. I guess I’m a big cock lover after all!! My guys right now range from about 7-9 inches and that tends to make me pretty happy. Not that I couldn’t be happy with an average size or smaller cock, but I like the dominance effect and really like when they hit it deep.
I am white but most of the men I have dated in my life are black, Supposedly black men have slightly larger penises on average. I always thought that was a myth but I guess there is some truth to it. Still the white guys I have been with were decent sized too, so I don’t know.
I’ve never really seen what I would consider a “small” penis like you talk about. Well, not in real life. I saw a guy post a picture of his penis on Craigslist one time and it was like an inch long.
Anyhow I tend to fall in love with the penises that make me feel really good or with ones attached to guys I am really into, no matter what they look like. I’d say if I had to pick an “ideal” penis it would be about 8 inches, kinda thick and get super hard to where all the skin is taut and shiny when he gets an erection. It would be circumsized and have that perfect mushroom head on top for me to run my tongue around during a blowjob. His balls would be medium sized, not too big and not too small. Ummm…I’ve had a few cocks like that. 😉
Make it six inches and you may have described my perfect penis 😉
I rock the 6 and have always thought I had an average, run-of-the-mill nothing special penis. The comments I most often get from women had been ‘My last boyfriend was longer, but you’re definitely thicker.” When I was younger (and dumber), I was quite the closet exhibitionist sending pictures of myself into dark and seedy chat rooms all over the internet. I wonder where that adventurous spirit has gone.
My wife’s big thing is saying I have the most talented tongue she’s ever felt and going down on her during foreplay has become mandatory.
Ah see I’m not all that sold on the going down on me thing. It just makes me nervous really. I tend to not do that for a while when I am in a relationship or sleeping with someone new. But you can bring your penis over here anytime to let me inspect 😉
Found perfection but unfortunately it was attached to the biggest wanker I know!
I know that men seem to be obsessed with size, but I have slept with men whose penises have been so wide/long that it has been excruciating. Give me average any day. I have also noticed that penises at a specific angle do best for me. Maybe I could get a t shirt that says: “Do you have a slightly curved, acute angled penis in relation to your body? Call me.” I’m sure that would go down well.
I have a post called … “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight …” on this very topic … I wanna weep over a small willy … But have had some spectacular experiences on very average tackle 🙂 x
I have a post on this very topic called “it’s not the size of the dog in the fight …” I weep in dismay over a small or x small penis … am always relieved and happy to get anything between med and x large … 🙂 x
My ex also had the perfect penis, pretty much like the one you described. He’s very tall and is ‘proportional’ for his size. It was lovely an straight, circumcised too – and the perfect colour (sometimes they can be a bit funny looking if they’re too dark).
I also had ‘sex’ once with the guy who had what I thought was the smallest penis in the world, I just couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t feel anything except what felt like a guy dry humping me, how awful for him and me! He’s a lovely guy and was recently married, all I can think about is how he’ll never properly satisfy his poor wife…it’s a cruel life! : (
Reblogged this on Simone Noelle – Erotic Author and commented:
Okay, let’s try to link to this fab and fun blog post from Not So Sex In The City again. My last attempt at posting this link fell short of expectations, sort of like some partners’ penis size. Cheap shot, I agree. Honestly, it’s the man that counts, not the size.
xoxo,
Simone
Right, that’s it. I am going to get myself snipped. I always wanted to, but I needed encouragement from you lovely women. Thanks!